TUYO, TINAPA AND GALUNGGONG

Let me tell you a story. Three construction workers were on top of their half-finished skyscraper. Rrrrring!" the lunch bell sounded, and the three men sat on a steel beam jutting out of the 56th floor with their lunch boxes in hand.

The first guy opens his and groans in exasperation, "Tuyo!" There is not a day that I don't get tuyo for lunch!" He turns to his buddies and announces, "Mark my words. If I still get tuyo tomorrow, I'm going to throw myself from this building."

The second guy opens his lunch box and moans, "Tinapa". Everyday, I get tinapa!" He looks at his friends and declares, "Believe me when I say this. If I get tinapa tomorrow, I'm going to jump and kil! l myself."

The third guy opens his lunch box and it was his turn to despair. "Galunggong". All I get is galunggong!" I'm telling you, if I still get galunggong tomorrow, I'm going to jump from this building and die."

The next day, the lunch bell rings and all three men are again seated on the 56th floor. The first guy opens his lunch box and starts crying, "Tuyoooooo!" And so he jumps and crashes on the ground.

The second guy opens his lunch box and wails loudly, "Tinapaaaa!" And he also hurls himself off the building and dies. The third guy opens his lunch box and screams, "Galunggonggggg!" And so
he too jumps off the building and splatters on the ground.

Days later, during the funeral of the three men, their three wives embrace and weep together. The first wife cries out, "I didn't know my husband didn't like tuyo anymore! Why didn't he tell me? If only he told me, I would have prepared something else."

The second wife echoes her statement, "Yes! If only I knew, I would have cooked something else, not tinapa!"

The third wife, between sobs, speaks up, "I don't know why my husband killed himself." The two wives look at her curiously.

"Why?"

She went on, "Because ... my husband prepares his own lunch everyday..."

I love this crazy story because it presents a very important truth: all of us prepare our own lunch. If we don't like our jobs, if we don't like the state of our relationships, if! we don't like what's happening to our spiritual lives - we have no one to blame but ourselves. Because God
has given us free will. He has given us the power to prepare our own lunch.

If you want to earn more and be free from debt, if you're sick and tired of your bad habits, if we want to put more joy in our marriages, if we want to grow in our relationship with God - then go back to your kitchen and prepare yourself another dish. Because you design your own future.
You create your own destiny. Ask yourself what kind of future do you want to have? What kind of life? What kind of eternity?

You decide.

FIRST GRADER?

An idle mind is... the best way to relax?

It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders, there are some really good ones. A first grade teacher collected well-known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of the proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.

Their insight may surprise you:

Better to be safe than ------------------------ punch a 5th grader
Never under estimate the power of ---------- termites
You can lead a horse to water but ------------ how?
Don't bite the hand that ---------------------- looks dirty
No news is ----------------------------------- impossible
A miss is as good as a ------------------------ Mr.
You can't teach an old dog new --------------- math
If you lie down with dogs, you'll -------------- stink in the morning
Love all, trust ------------------------------- me
The pen is mightier than the ---------------- pigs
An idle mind is ------------------------------ the best way to relax
Where there's smoke there's ---------------- pollution
Happy the! bride who ----------------------- gets all the presents
A penny saved is ---------------------------- not much
Two's company, three's --------------------- the Musketeers
Don't put off till tomorrow what ------------- you put on to go to bed
None are so blind as ------------------------- Stevie Wonder
Children should be seen and not ------------- spanked or grounded
If at first you don't succeed ------------------ get new batteries
You get out of something what you ---------- see pictured on the box
When the blind lead the the blind ------------ get out of the way

LIFE'S MEANING

On the first day, God created the dog and said :

"Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?" So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said: "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

The monkey said: "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?" And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said: "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves, and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?" And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said: "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."

But man said: "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?" "Okay," said God, "You asked for it."

So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

THE PRINCIPAL, TEACHER, AND STUDENT

A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 28) was having trouble with one of her students the teacher asked,"Boy. What is your problem? The boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too! Ms Neelam had enough. She took Boy to the principal's office.

While Boy waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed. The boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: What is 3 x 3? Boy: 9.

Principal: What is 6 x 6? Boy: 36.

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, "I think Boy can go to the third-grade." Ms Neelam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions. Can I ask him?" The principal and Boy both agree.

Ms Neelam asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of? Boy, after a moment "Legs."

Ms Neelam: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" Boy: "Pockets."

Ms Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, and delicious and contains thin whitish liquid? Boy: Coconut

Ms Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge. Boy: Bubblegum

Ms Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does three legs? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer... Boy: Shake hands

Ms Neelam: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay? Boy: Yep.

Ms Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. Boy: Tent

Ms Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg. Boy: Wedding Ring

Ms Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good. Boy: Nose

Ms Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver. Boy: Arrow > Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in ‘K’ that means lot of heat and excitement? Boy: Fire truck

Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u don’t get it u have to use your hand. Boy: Fork

Ms Neelam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married? Boy: SURNAME

Ms Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love? Boy: HEART.

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, “Send this Boy to College, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"*