I LOVE YOU

"Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good" (Romans 12:9 NASB).

The sentence "I love you" is common among people, especially people of opposite sex, either married or single. The sentence is so common that most people have lost or misinterpreted the real meaning of the most important word in it - love. To some, "I love you," means I want to get something from you. To others, love is the glorified word for lust. The intention of "I love you" of others is to gratify their selfish desire. No wonder, love has become one of the most common words in any language.

What does love means to you? How are you demonstrating it? Do you really mean it when you tell somebody, "I love you"? Paul described what love is and what it is not in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails" (NIV). So it means that when I say "I love you," what I am saying in essence is that: I will be patient with you; I will be kind with you; I will not envy you; I will not elevate myself higher than you; I will not be self-centered; I will not be easily provoked by you; I will keep no record of any wrong you do to me; I will not have hidden agenda against you; I will be truthful to you; I will protect you; I will trust you; I will have hope in you; I will persevere with you; and my love is not temporary. Anything short of these is hypocrisy.

The love between Jonathan and David is a good example of a love without hypocrisy. Jonathan demonstrated all those attributes of love described above to David (see 1 Samuel 18:3-4; 20:1-42; 23:18).

I love you. Do I?

SINO NGA BA ANG PIPILIIN MO?

Bakit kaya minsan ang sarap magmahal kahit walang kapalit??? naisip mo na ba iyon? kala mo okey lang... pero sobrang hirap...

Masarap magmahal hindi ba? Kahit ikaw, hindi ka sigurado sa pag-ibig ng taong mahal na mahal mo... Minsan iniisip mo nalang na pagdating ng tamang panahon magiging maayos din ang lahat... Sana nga!!! Nang hindi ka naman mukhang tanga na umaasa sa wala...

Minsan din ang sarap sarap isipin na minamahal ka ng taong mahal mo!!! yung tipong kayo na lang sana at hindi ang babaeng nakikita mong kasama nya na masaya at akala ang buong mundo ay kanilang kanila...

Minsan din ang sarap bumalik sa nakaraan... yung tipong masaya pa kayo, parang mga batang walang problema... kung meron man parang, against all odds ang settings... pero may nakabitin pa ring tanong... ano kayang nangyari??? pero ang kadalasang kasagutan e:

1. kasi di pala kami para sa isat-isa;
2. Nagkamali ako sa kanya;
3. iniwan lang nya ko ;
4. may iba na syang mahal;
5. niloko lang nya ko;
6. Di ako gusto ng parents nya;
7. ayoko na puro nalang kami away;
8. masyado nya kong sinasaktan;
9. nagsawa na sya sakin;

pero ito pinaka masakit;.

10.hindi pala nya talaga ako mahal (parang
panakip butas)

Grabe hindi ba??? Pero kailan kaya natin maririnig na nagpapasalamat ang isang Umiibig sa taong nakasakit at sinaktan sya??? minsan naisip din kaya natin na kung ano ang kahalagahan ng isang bagay??? Yung kailangang bigyan ng halaga habang nandyan pa! Minsan kasi, saka lang natin nalalaman ang isang kahalagahan ng isang bagay
pag wala na ito sa atin!!!

kaya minsan din isipin natin yung mga sinasabi,kinikilos, ginagawa natin kasi hindi lahat ng tao kayang tanggapin kung ano at paano natin ginagawa ang isang bagay!!! subukan nating magpasalamat sa kabila ng lahat...

A. kung sinaktan ka nya... magpasalamat ka dahil sya ang dahilan para tumibay ka;

B. kung niloko ka nya... patawarin mo at pasalamatan mo... dahil kung hindi sa kanya hindi mo mararamdam ang sakit na pwede ding maramdaman ng iba... at least hindi mo gagawain sa iba;

C. kung hindi ka nya minahal... pasalamatan mo!!! dahil at least kahit papano na-feel mo na minahal ka nya kahit hindi, pasalamat sya dahil ikaw minahal mo sya ng buong buo;

minsan kailangan lang natin harapin kung ano man ang nakasakit sa atin... piliting kalimutan... piliting harapin kung ano ang noon... noon lang yun... iba ang ngayon!!! dahil kung nasaktan ka man noon, ngayon mag-iingat ka na at alam mo na kung ano
dapat at hindi para hindi masaktan.

mahalin mo ang mga taong nakasakit sayo dahil sila ang dahilan para maging matibay ka!!!! para sa susunod di kana basta-basta padalos-dalos. pasalamatan mo ang taong nakasakit sayo...

sino ba ang mas mahalaga, ang taong mahal mo o ang taong gusto mong mahalin???

ang taong kasama mo buong araw o ang taong iniicip mo bago matapos ang araw???

siya bang kasa-kasama mo sa lahat ng ginagawa mo o siyang dahilan ng lahat ng galaw at ginagawa mo???

sino ba ang mas mahalaga... yung taong nais mong makasama habang buhay o yung taong
hindi mo makita ang habang buhay kapag wala siya?

Sino ang mas matimbang... yung taong pag kasama mo'y parang kay bilis ng oras o yung
taong tuwing iniicp mo'y parang kay bagal ng oras?

ano ang susundin mo... ang dinidikta mo sa puso mo o ang dinidikta ng puso mo syo?

sya ba un laging pumapasok sa isip mo o siya yung laging laman ng panaginip mo?

Sino nga ba... ang taong nagpaluha syo, o ang taong nagpunas sa minsang pagluha mo?

Sino sa kanila... ang taong nagpapatawa syo o ang taong dahilan ng lahat ng iyong emosyon?

SIno nga bang pipiliin mo???

ANG TAONG MULING NAGBUKAS NG PUSO MO... O ANG TAONG MATAGAL NG NANDOON???

PARANG KAYO PERO HINDI

She is a 24-year old copywriter. He is an architect. They met and became lovers in college. They broke up last year but remained to be "friends." They send sweet text messages and he calls her often to make sure she's okay. They still date. They still have sex. They don't see anyone else. It is obvious that they still love each other but when asked about their situation, she doesn't know the real score. Even her friends are in the dark. "Parang sila, pero hindi."

She works in a telecom. He is reviewing for the board. They are in the same barkada. They talk on the phone till 4 am. He gives her chocolates, flowers and CDs even when there is no occasion. Their friends are suspecting something. Bakit sila nagsosolo kapag may overnight inuman? Why does he hold her close on the dance floor? Bakit sila magkaholding hands lagi? Sila kaya? "He hasn't admitted anything," she rants. "But I let him hug and kiss me. Parang kami, pero hindi."

They work together in an ad agency. After office, they would watch movie, have dinner and stroll at Glorietta. She gave him Harry Potter books for his birthday in exchange for posing as her boyfriend to make an ex jealous. They made out during the company outing in Subic and never talked about it. He said "I love you" once but she wasn't sure if she heard him correctly because they were both drunk then. But one thing she is sure of is her feelings for him. She likes him. And she's assuming that with what he's doing to her and with her, he likes her, too. There's just one hitch: he has a girlfriend!

She is a 28-year-old virgin. He's a 35-year-old bachelor. Both mountaineers, they became close during their climbs. After a few dates in posh restaurants, he brings her to his condo where they would make out. They have been doing this for months. She wants to believe that "sila na" but then she's not really sure about it. "We don't talk about it but it doesn't really matter," she'd tell her friends. "What's important is I am enjoying this -- whatever it is."

The "parang kayo, pero hindi" stage. Others call it MU or mutual understanding. Pseudo-relationships. Pseudo-boyfriends. Flings. Almost like a relationship, but not quite. It is a phase where the persons involved are more than friends, but not quite lovers. Puwedeng may verbal agreement, puwedeng wala. One or both of you may have admitted your feelings, possible ding hindi. You just let your gestures do the talking for you. Walang pormal na ligawan na nangyari. Hindi kayo mag-dyowa. Pero sa kilos niyo, sa mga sinasabi niyo, parang kayo, pero hindi.

This kind of "relationship" can happen at different stages for different reasons. It can happen after a break-up. You still love each other, and you want to be with each other but you broke up for a reason. And for reasons that you alone know, ayaw niyo na muna magkabalikan.

It can also happen before a relationship, iyong pareho kayong nakikiramdam. Possible din na ayaw niyo munang mag-seryoso kaya kunwa-kunwarian lang muna. Testing lang.

Puwede ring hindi puwedeng maging kayo kasi isa sa inyo --usually the guy --may ka-relasyon na. Kaya habang hindi pa siya nakikipag-break doon sa girl (sabi niya makikipag-break siya soon pero di naman niya ginagawa), wala muna kayong relasyon para nga naman hindi siya nangagaliwa kasi "hindi naman kayo."

This pseudo-relationship stage, for a time, can be fun. Lalo na kung naghahanap ka lang naman ng "kalaro."

Pero huwag ka lang mag-e-expect na may patutunguhan kayo kasi wala talagang kasiguraduhan.

So bakit ang daming nagse-settle sa ganitong set up ganoong hindi naman sigurado kung may patutunguhan?

Iba't ibang dahilan. Puwedeng for fun lang. Puwedeng "buti na iyan kesa wala" or puwede na iyang "pantawid-gutom." Meaning, habang wala pa iyong the real thing, doon muna sa kunwa-kunwarian.

For those who are not in a serious relationship, they would think that pseudo-relationship is better than no relationship at all. It would be fun, if all you are after for is that "kilig" feeling.

Aminado naman ako na once upon a time, may mga pseudo-relationships din ako. No commitments involved. For the simplest reason that they couldn't commit, because they were either committed to someone else, or that they weren't ready to commit.

My rationalization, "okay na iyun, kesa wala."

Ang habol ko lang naman, iyong kilig feeling. Iyong merong nagtatanong kung kumusta araw ko. Iyong merong ka-cuddle sa beach outing. Iyong kapag tumunog ang cellphone, mapapangiti na ako dahil alam kong galing sa kanya ang message. Iyong merong laging kasama. Habang wala pa ang the real thing, puwede na itong pagtiyagaan.

But then I learned that although it was only a pseudo-relationship, the emotions were real. And usually, in this kind of set up, ang babae lagi ang lugi.

Una, you can't ask him to commit. Since it's not really a relationship, you can't demand commitment from your partner. Ano ba kayo? May K ka nga ba magpasundo ng hatinggabi? You will always be uncertain about your role in his life. You can't expect him to be always there with you. And if you feel jealous of the other girls, you just have to keep it to yourself. Ano ka ba niya para magselos?

Pangalawa, what if you fall deeply in love with him? You can't be sure if he feels the same way. Baka nag-a-assume ka lang na mahal ka rin niya. Even if you are dying to tell him you love him, you can't. Because you're not sure if he'll like it. Baka mapahiya ka lang. This stage will always make you wonder where you are in the relationship. Or if there is a relationship at all.

Pangatlo, what if you become attached too much? What if you have invested all your emotions and this man hasn't? What if you remain faithful to him, not entertaining other guys, only to find out that he is seeing other girls?

Isa pang downside ng pseudo-relationships, it is fleeting. When a disagreement sets in, or when one of you gets cold, then that would be the end of it. Unlike in a serious relationship, hindi mo alam kung saan ka lulugar sa isang pseudo-relationship. Wala kang pinanghahawakan. Kasi sa pseudo-relationship, there is no "us." Meron lang "you and me," hindi "us."

Buti sana kung pseudo-pain din lang ang mararanasan mo. Kaso, hindi eh. Real pain. And usually, kahit tapos na ang pseudo-relationship, hindi mo maiwasan umasang one day, may karugtong pa rin iyun. And you will be miserable, hoping to bring back what you used to have, only to find out eventually that the guy is in another pseudo-relationship with somebody else.

Ang hirap, ano? You agreed to this kind of set up for fun and then you'd end up hurting yourself in the process.

Pero puwede naman maiwasan ang pain eh. Puwede naman na hindi mo muna isipin ang future and just enjoy the feeling, without thinking of the consequences.

But if you are certain that you are going to hurt yourself in the process, kailangan mo mamili. You can be happy and live the moment without worrying what would happen next. Or you can stop settling with pseudo-relationships and wait for the real thing.

When I was younger and in a pseudo-relationship with an unavailable guy, a friend told me, "Sige, kung ayaw mong magpapigil, bahala ka. Magpakasaya ka. Pero huwag kang iiyak-iyak pagkatapos, dahil tatadyakan kita."

Ang bottom line lang naman, kung magpapasaya sa iyo, gawin mo. Ihanda mo lang ang sarili mo sa consequence. Dahil ang "parang kayo pero hindi" stage ay bihirang nagiging totoo. Usually, hanggang doon lang siya... almost, but not quite.